we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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