Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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