A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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