Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
