I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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