Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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