i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Randomize
