sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
