if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
