Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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