his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
