So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
