its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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