So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
