dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
All the doctor said was why
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
