Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize