I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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