the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
false alarm. still invincible.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
