ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
