Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
