Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
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You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
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There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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