I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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