I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
