I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
