R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
