i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
All I want is dick and wine.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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