I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
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she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
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debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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