Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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