So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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