I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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