got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
