I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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