We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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