Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
