I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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