I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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