He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
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