i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
