At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
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oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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