Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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