Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
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Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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