I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
