Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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