oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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