i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
