My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
