Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
