shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
