That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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