I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
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Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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