So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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