at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
