Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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