Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
