i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Randomize
