On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
They have beer where we have blood.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
