so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Randomize
