i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
