i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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