he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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