I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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