Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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