Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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